linglay's thoughts..."...when you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it." --Winnie the Pooh
Stanbul
read my profile
sign my guestbook

Visit Stanbul's Xanga Site!

Name: Layling
Birthday: 4/14/1987
Gender: Female


Interests: people and animals. esp dolphins.
Expertise: dreaming, apparently. and picking up new dances. and singing. and acting. and succinctness.
Occupation: student
Industry: Stanbury Electrical Engineerin


Message: message me
Website: visit my website


Member Since: 8/29/2006

SubscriptionsSites I Read
EmbracingTheUnknown
welsh_angel21
SarahJayne007
ANDRI3S
Mr_Metro
Anna_da_Ellie
bluegrass42
MeinSchats
waiting_4_you_15
nikislash
fleur_de_dieu
TrueUncommonLove
Schink42
dm_girl
alliegs
OldClarkie
missraceyrace
joshmcgeehan
vanberkely
wannabekiwi
cushycush
TrollyHerdsman
drewbert99
agape7_nz
agn3tha
zanne81
raysplaceinspace
alicebanana
Jkd23
Joelleykins
Quizabeth

Posting Calendar

|<< oldest | newest >>|
view all weblog archives

Get Involved!

Suggest a link

Recommend to friend

Create a site


Sunday, November 01, 2009

Well.

meant as an interjection, not as a noun or adjective.

sigh.

no one's perfect. but maybe on some level i agree. with the concept anyway, even if i still maintain that it takes effort. "love is sacrifice." not some 'happily ever after'. that doesn't exist, not in real life.

maybe they're not normal. but everyone has their ups and downs. i don't know. i think it's worth it.

all in favour say "aye."

yes, i've changed. but i still view it as... sortof like amputation.

"i have few principles but i stick to them"?

well, simplify it down to one - Agape.

i hate to admit it, but mother's right, i am sorta grateful to her making me continue. at least if or when i take violin back up it'll be my choice.

it's nice to know i'm not the only one. but in the long run, how much does it matter? not everyone can be the best at something.
"sometimes i mistake this for a universe that cares." http://xkcd.com/625/

its strange... even now, whenever i make friends, i look back and think how did that even happen?? how can i do that again? it just... sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. humans are complicated.

yesterday the person in the mirror looked like a complete stranger. maybe i was just looking at her differently. maybe i don't know her but i think i do. maybe i'm just deceiving myself.

http://xkcd.com/430/ there was something about an airport. i'm not sure if i want to remember; i'm not looking forward to it. i'd like to travel the world sometime. our time is short.
this one time...

"Sunday all of my demons rest." wahey, it is a sunday.

life is normal today.


Sunday, October 11, 2009

a willing soul can do anything, if it just tries hard enough.

i like being picked up and swung in a circle
i like people visiting me from home
i like tips from good dancers
i like showing off
i like singing
i like  friendly people
i like being a "bridge"
i like lectures that finish early
i like sun!
i like staying up late
i like butterflies
i like midnight chats
i like  random texts
i like being me.


Tuesday, October 06, 2009

*mind fills with randomised dread*

specificly intense but not intensely specific.

"I'm the only me i know."

i don't like not being in control of myself.
it freaks me out when someone knows why i'm doing something when i don't, when i'm not even thinking.
i don't like it when someone sees a part of me i've never seen and don't like the look of,
i don't like knowing i made a fool of myself,
i don't like not knowing why i do things,
i don't like gossip,
i don't like feeling left out,
i don't like feeling inadequate,
i don't like being second best,
i don't like telling others they're second best,
i don't like making people feel bad,
i don't like knowing i can't trust myself,
i don't like being go-between,
i don't like how much i've changed,
i don't like knowing how hard it'll be to get back,
i don't like not knowing my right from my left,
i don't like forgetting what i am,
i don't like how selfish i am.

i like being included. and attention. and feeling appreciated.

"i don't like to remember, but i remember what i like."

"i don't know anymore what it's for, i'm not even sure if there is anyone who is in the Son, can you help me to understand? cos i got caught in between all you wish for and all you've seen...
and tryin to find anything that you feel that you can believe in...
may God's love be with you, always."

i want. "one more taste, of the sweetest wine; a little less memory of things so fine. No gate you bolt, no door i slide, no shame you wish to shelter, no swallow me, no hide."

ha. that didn't last long.

Choices. at the end of the day, i want something *real*.


Friday, October 02, 2009

Insecurity

"and i even got out my adorable new netbook!"

creepy

ignore the world and everything in it until it initiates?
but then what if everyone else thinks like that, so no one initiates?
i tell you, humans are stoopid.
risks... risks are just risks. they're worth it.

*throws tantrum* but i *told* you i can't handle rejection!!!

care a little bit less?
*sulks*

and, if you don't ask why, you'll wonder for the rest of your life.
*gah!*  *sulks more*

what?!! i never said i was mature! ...and if i did, i was being sarcastic. :P besides, throwing tantrums and sulking makes me feel better!

sigh. will you ever grow up?


Thursday, October 01, 2009

"there's beauty in the breakdown."

"if it makes you happy, it can't be that bad; if it makes you happy, then why the Heck are you so sad??"

why is it so bad, to want to make someone happy?

"had i known how to save a life..."

its strange. you play games for fun, right? so when they cease to be fun... why keep playing?

i'll never understand humans.  i don't even know how i killed it.

"think of it as a good thing." lol. your logiclessness somehow makes me happy. 

i think i know what i want now, cos i don't want it anymore and it feels a little empty in its meaninglessness.

i'm not hungry anymore. i don't get it. i'm always hungry.

"nothing's sweet about me."

i know who i am, but who do i want to be?

you do it to yourself, you do.

ich hab' dir erzaehlt.

"nothing heard nothing said can't even speak about it.
THROW ON YOUR BRAKE LIGHTS"

"where did i go wrong? i lost a friend somewhere in the bitterness."

don't give bits of your heart away. they don't grow back the same.

fear's gone, lump's back.

"Your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not so bad."

"don't judge me tomorrow by the way i'm acting today."
i change my mind every minute.

"so will You catch my fall?"



Next 5 >>

site you should visit:
my other one: www.dolphin-the-wemmick.piczo.com by the way.. Deut 31:8 "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." - Philippians 4:8

sites i like... http://portal.jellyneo.net/ http://www.freerice.com/index.php http://inhisradiance.blogspot.com/ http://www.siobhanlikessocks.blogspot.com/ http://www.biblegateway.com/ http://www.everystudent.com/nz/index.html http://lib.ru/LEWISCL/mere_engl.txt_with-big-pictures.html http://www.quia.com/pages/renczy.html http://babelfish.altavista.com/ http://species.wikimedia.org/wiki http://www.u2austen.blogspot.com/ http://godisnice.blogspot.com/ http://www.statravelblogs.com/alice_from_kiwiland/blog/ shadesofblades.blogspot.com http://gallopingturtles.blogspot.com/ http://blog.naver.com/gloriachch http://www.minuit.co.nz/